Open Talk Mom

Is There Stress in Your Marriage?

Posted on 15. May, 2009 by Aurelia in Mom Talk

Remember the Leave it to Beaver days, when marriages were perfect and seemed to last forever? Times have changed since then. Each year since the Cleavers were on our TV, divorces have started to rise. A marriage that lasts forever is almost a rarity in our society today.

Stress is one of the major causes of marriages dying out. When stress boils over negative emotions then take control of us. Those emotions ultimately cause most marriages to fail. Don’t let your marriage be one of them. Here are some ways that stress could sneak into your marriage like the proverbial weed in the garden of flowers.

Finances – This is probably the number one reason that marriages end in divorce. A couple could face a constant state of financial worry about where they’ll get the money to pay for bills and put food on the table. A little dose of anxiety for your finances is normal and healthy in any marriage, but never let it get to the point where it could ruin it altogether.

Learn how to live within your means. Who wouldn’t want that car with all the luxuries that could make our lives easier? Sure we would love to have it, but realistically is it necessary for your life? More than likely not. Find a vehicle that has what you need at a price you can afford. Start a monthly budget and be sure to stick with it. Bills should always be paid first before delving into luxury type items.

Credit cards are wonderful things to have for emergencies, but they can be debt traps if not used carefully. Use them only when needed and pay off the balance each month to avoid paying too much interest. If the debt is too much, look into credit counseling and see if you can consolidate your debt and get it paid off faster.

Raising Children – Raising children can be a stressful time in any couples’ lives. Both people come into the marriage having different family values. Sometimes these values clash when it comes to how their children will be raised. Arguments are then inevitable and will cause too much anxiety on the couple, which could spill over onto the children if left unchecked.

Before arguments start, sit down and discuss the problem at hand in a calm manner. Come up with a compromise on both your parts, so you come up with your own personalized values for your own family. If you work together as a team, you can overcome the stress of raising your children or at least minimize it.

Keeping your feelings inside – Communication plays a major role in a couple who stifles their feelings. Marriages can’t work if they can’t get their feelings out in the open to talk them out. If left inside, they can bottle up and explode into an outburst of anger.

Arguments become plentiful between couples, which will inevitably cause the marriage to go downhill. A marriage can be saved if the couple starts taking the time to get their feelings out and discuss them with each other. Keep the lines of communication open throughout the marriage to keep it from failing in the end.

Unfortunately, the list of stressors within a marriage doesn’t end here. There are many more stressors that will show up during a marriage, so learn to spot potential stressing situations and put out the fire before it gets out of control. Don’t be afraid to seek some professional help from a counselor if things seem to be too much for you to handle. They can help you identify the stressors and help you work them out. If stress is brought under control, your marriage will only get stronger.

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About the author  Aurelia Williams is a Certified Life Coach, internet marketer and podcaster. Aurelia is passionate about helping women and is always looking for ways to lend a supportive hand to others and make their life a little less hectic and a lot more enjoyable. Visit her online at Real Life Guidance. Read more from this author

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