Open Talk Mom

Ten Ways to Ease Sibling Rivalry

Posted on08. Sep, 2009 by Mary Lutz.

Children are bound to fight with one another; it’s part of being siblings. Sibling rivalry is normal, too, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to do something about it. Try using one or more of these ten ways to ease sibling rivalry to bring peace to your home.

1. Ask your older children to help with the younger ones. This will encourage your children to feel proud of being an older brother or sister and will help them build a better relationship.

2. Do your best not to compare your children, especially while they’re in the same room. It’s obvious that your children are different, but you don’t want them feeling as if there’s something wrong because they’re not the same. It may also cause your children to believe you love one of them more than the other.

3. Let them handle their own disagreements. It may not be easy to do, but it’s important to let them resolve some of their own conflicts. You also want to avoid taking sides because it might give the impression you favor one child over the other.

4. Explain to your children that however angry they might get, violence is unacceptable. Let them know you won’t stand for hitting or kicking. When your children resolve their problems peacefully, be sure to praise them for doing so.

5. Take your child out of the room if you must punish or scold them. It’s important not to do this in front of the other children because it may cause the child not being scolded to tease the one who was.

6. If possible, allow each child to have their own room. You’ll also want to stress how important it is for them to avoid taking or using each other’s items without permission.

7. Have a special date each month for you to spend with each child. Spending individual time with each child doing things they enjoy will let them know how special they are to you. It will also help your children have your undivided attention, if only for a little while.

8. Set limits as far as what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Hitting, name-calling, and putting one another down are not acceptable and you’ll want to step in if your children begin using any of those tactics. You may not want to act like the police, but it may be necessary at times.

9. Family meetings can be helpful for letting children voice differences or complaints. They’re also an opportunity for parents to restate family rules about how to treat one another, or add new rules.

10. Choose your battles wisely. You know your children aren’t always going to agree, so you might spend all of your time coming between them if you don’t let them handle things on their own. Squabbling about who had a toy first isn’t that important, but pestering until they feel they have no recourse but to strike out definitely needs your attention.

Having children can be a joy; however, it can also be stressful for parents when the children argue and fight. Using one of these ten ways to ease sibling rivalry may work for your family. It can’t hurt to give them a try.

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Family Cell Phones Keep Everyone in Touch

Posted on04. May, 2009 by Mary Lutz.

Don’t you love the convenience of cell phones? How about the safety factor or those times you may have needed it in case of an emergency? Do you feel more connected to your children and spouse with a cell phone? I know I do!

There have been many times when my teens were out and about and how safe I felt knowing I could call at any second and know they were okay. I’m not a fearful person, so I don’t go around calling them every minute or ½ hour to check on them, but just knowing I could call if needed gives me a real sense of security, especially when they start driving.

It continues to surprise me how many kids actually have their own cell phone these days, and at the young ages they are getting them. Cell phone communication is a great way for families to keep in touch with each other. This is the main reason we chose to get our teens cell phones a few years ago. Now with some companies offering family plans, it makes a whole lot more sense for each family member to have a cell phone so they can stay in touch with each other throughout the day.

We even use our cell phones for grocery shopping. I will text my husband the few things I need at the store so when he is on his way home from work, he can pick them up. Then I don’t have to drive ½ an hour into town later, saving us money on gas.

Speaking of texting, kids and teens love to text! I believe more kids communicate through texting than through talking. The other day I was driving one of our youth group girls home and she was texting me while we were in the same car. I just had to laugh because I thought how funny it was that she felt more comfortable typing words out to me than actually speaking them.

With smart phones becoming less and less expensive these days, communicating via Twitter and Facebook on the cell phone has also become a popular way to communicate. Some phones even have a MySpace application.

With communication so readily available and cell phone packages becoming more and more reasonable, there are no reasons why families shouldn’t stay connected. Of course there are safety precautions that need to be taken and rules should be enforced upon your children when they first receive a cell phone. So, if you’ve been thinking about getting your family connected with cell phones, check out all the safety tips and other guidance you’ll find at Family on the Phone.

Mary Lutz is a busy freelancing mom of four who is writing for Family on the Phone, a blog about how families are staying connected in the digital age.  Visit http://www.familyonthephone.com for tips on keeping your digital family safe.

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